You can guess how this story ends, so I'll show you the result now.
I was having a lovely time on Sunday afternoon with my secateurs when I made a slight misjudgement. The cutting blade sliced through the pad of my left ring-finger. I think the top end of the blade only just caught my finger, so the anvil (the thick lower jaw) was not involved. But the secateurs are Swiss-made and, I discovered, still razor-sharp after some years of use and abuse.
It was a deep cut, though, with lots of blood. I zoomed into the laundry to wash it off a bit. It was only after I moved my hand and the water bent the flap back that the world started to go dark. I've occasionally felt faint, but have never been so close to collapsing on the floor before! After the Geek had helped me wrap it up, I'd rested for a while on the bench outside until I felt better.
By now I knew that I needed at least a tetanus jab, if not stitches, and on a Sunday afternoon that would mean going to our local hospital. So I had a cup of tea, made by the Geek (one should never go to hospital unfortified). I think his first-aid skills might need a bit of work but the tea was well made! By 3:30 I was in Casualty.
The triage nurse replaced the hasty dressing with a proper constriction bandage to reduce blood flow, and then I had to wait for the doctor. My only entertainment was two coppers arriving with a fellow in handcuffs who had no shoes and no teeth, and who appeared to be slightly on the wrong side of the sanity line. And there was a B-grade meerkat documentary on the TV.
I think I saw the doctor at about 5pm, which isn't bad for a small hospital on a Sunday afternoon. I ended up with four stitches, as you can see, a tetanus jab and a Keflex prescription. And local anaesthetic injections into the finger are just as painful there as they are anywhere else. I was grateful my wedding rings escaped being cut off.
Meanwhile, the Geek had been cooking a lamb roast. Delicious, though the anaesthetic had worn off and my finger was pretty sore. Most annoying things: I missed out on all the other garden work I was planning to do, and as I type properly, having my ring finger out of action is a nuisance. But it looks like it's healing well. The stitches will be removed on Friday.